Well... that's nice! (not!)
Posted by pretty-lostflowr at 07:21 PM on March 7, 2008.
A couple of days ago I cut .... again! Well that's it ... I've gone back to square one...
I *honestly* don't want to do it anymore... but the year away from it did something
Well... yeah pathetic really! I should mention here that the 'noise' came back ... so now I'm battling with the "inner voice" if that's what you want to call it. So currently I have the idea that I am completely useless and should just "get on with it!"
On a lighter note, why don't guys get "no"?? I know I have issues with sex... but why do they think that as soon as they've got me in bed once they can do it whenever they feel like.... and yes ... sometimes I do just let him get on with it... and make it look like i am enjoying it.
Signing off
take care x
End of day one
Posted by pretty-lostflowr at 09:45 PM on February 24, 2008.
Day one ...
What have I managed today?
Yep that's it. I still have a room to tidy and I've eaten far too much too! Funny really, I know that I've not eaten well at all today, but for today I am willing to let it slide. Honestly, I don't feel all that bad about myself today. Hmm... trying to thinking about what is different about today then any other. And anyway the Boy in my life is busy for a little while this week, driving test and whatnot. I threatened not to see him this week until room and revision is done. A little harsh, I wonder? Still trying to figure things out in my head about him. I mean I love him, we've talked about stuff and I would love to spend the rest of my life with him (soppy!) Although, having said that, he's not exactly talking to me at the moment, must be too busy tidying that room of his. Lol!
So far I am fine. Although things get worse when I go to bed. There were I am alone and most vonuable. Will let you all know tomorrow what happens.
Take care x
Beginnings
Posted by pretty-lostflowr at 06:42 PM on February 24, 2008.
Hello!
I thought that in today's views of what is perfect and such-like I would start a journal based purely my journey through becoming "perfect"
As a young female, I do notice in the media the pictures of the perfect girls and how the world expects us to look and behaive.
So ... I guess you would like to know a little about me, yes? For personal reasons any names given in my posts will be changed, and any places too. You will purely know me as "Pretty Lost Flower". The things I will admit to you are;
- I battle with self-harm, although I was free from this for about a year before things in my life changed and I am now back to it (more about this in later posts)
- Although I have never been diognosed with such, I do have depressive tendencies
- I do have some [i]slight[/i] issues with body image and weight
- And finally, altho being in a great relationship at the moment, still fight with my own sexuality
So what can you expect from this blog/ journal?
- Details on how my battle with the self-harm goes
- My current thoughts on my body image
- Any general day-to-day rants
There may be times when things get a bit graphic or very personal and may hit home for anyone who is maybe going through the same.
Please whatever you do and whatever you read please stay safe.
Pretty Lost Flower x